biggayreality

Well, whatever bad vibe was hanging over last weeks episode is gone! What an awesome episode! Let’s talk…

Beginning it with a soul train dance off??? Are you kidding me??? I loved it! I am jealous of Roxxxy’s booty and yay Jinxk! She proved that we Jews can dance (thank God because I dance like the white girl at the black wedding, no matter where I am).

So Jinxk and CoCo get to pick their teams. CoCo picks Alyssa. Everyone acts surprised. CoCo knows that Alyssa owns a dance studio. CoCo isn’t stupid. Although, I gotta say, off the bat, I liked Jinxk’s team better. But I look for the funny. I have no idea which Queen can do freaking ballet. But I know putting on a ballet about Rupaul’s life can be hilarious and tasteful without having professional dancers. Why else would Ru make them do it? They just need Queens with energy who can act and make it fun. And of course, it worked.

This episode, we finally got to see some real personalities come out. For the past three episodes, it seemed like it was a show featuring only Detox, Serena, Roxxxy, Alaska, CoCo and Alyssa. Everyone else was either quiet or boring. It turns out we have some contenders up in here, primarily Jinxk Monsoon and Ivy Winters!

When Jinxk walked in to the dance practice and saw the instructors she explained how they were hot and all the Queens were cats in heat that have been quarantined.  She was funny and she definitely took charge of her group, assigning everyone the right roles, which is why no one in her group ended up in the bottom two.  We need to keep an eye patch on her…she’s going to be a favorite, for sure.

Ivy Winters has some class! I love her! Of course she knows Lady Bunny. Her outfits have been flawless and she has obviously been a favorite of the judges the whole time. Michelle talked about her outfit and said she is “mind blowingly talented”. Agreed. Now, we are starting to see why. She could win this thing, for sure.

Besides the actual performance, my favorite part was everything Detox said in the one-on-one with the cameras. I love her. I want to hang out with her, without cocaine.

The performance with the overlay of Ru’s voice was fabulous! I wonder if Willam gets rights to the title, “No Rupologies”. Alaska, as usual used her drag, humor and expression to compensate for her lack of dancing ability. It worked. Everything Alaska does works.

Lineysha doesn’t know who Diana Ross is. Buh-Bye.

Jinxk and Ivy were hilarious as Rupaul and Lady Bunny. They worked so well together. Boom. Perfection.

Alyssa Edwards has annoyed me thus far, but she redeemed herself tonight. Her facial expressions, dancing, outfit and ability to work with CoCo put her on top. She deserved to win, hands down. And it helped that she was honest and said that Jade Jolie was the underdog.

Detox and Roxxxy were meh in the performance. But that’s okay, because Vivienne Pinay and Honey Mahogany were awful.

I thought it couldn’t get any worse for them. I was rooting for Honey, not because Vivienne is bitter and apparently can’t take a joke, but because I genuinely liked Honey. I thought she was cute and had a great personality. This is all true. But the kind of performance Rupaul wants is not something that she can do.

The lip-syncing was worse than watching Alyssa and CoCo discuss nothing for a half an hour. They both definitely deserved to go home.

If you watch carefully at the untucked intro, you can see by their outifts who will still be around. I won’t tell you who, do it for yourself . The only part of untucked that I thought was worth watching was Sharon’s message to Alaska. Alaska was touched and talked about how they are lucky to have found each other and are soul mates. Cute.

I think it will only get better from this point on, because the personalities are coming out and there is A LOT of it! We shall see…

When I saw the title for this episde, “Draggle Rock:”, I couldn’t believe it. Jim Henson made my childhood magical. Most people don’t realize that he not only created the world of Fraggle Rock, but wrote original music for every episode. Here is one of MANY epic songs that Jim created. You will be moved, trust me, listen…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX55gDZaWyk

I told you! Amazing, right? So onto the episode…

First of all, Lil’ Poundcake stole the show. She already has a twitter account and followers and she is a doll. Literally, she is a fucking doll. I am into the show and all, but wow, some people take this stuff a little too serously.

There was something weird about this episode. I don’t know if they just cut things out, or something was going on behind the scenes. But there was a weird vibe, just sayin’…

This entire episode was all about Alaska for me. I LOVED the fact that he was out of drag for the kids show. I thought he was adorable and obviously multi-talented. Alaska is funny, creative, artistic and charismatic. Why the hell did se get rejected for the show five times? I gotta say, I love Sharon Needles and all, but if the were in a battle against each other, my vote would go to Alaska. I hope this makes Sara Palin proud.

I had another long week and this episode bored me a bit. The CoCo Montrese and Alyssa Edwards saga is more boring than the first season of the show. I hope tonight’s episode has more to it. I’m psyched!

Because I slacked this week, this post will be short, but I need to stick it in before tonight’s episode airs. Enjoy.

In my post for episode one, I didn’t bid farewell to Penny Tration. Although in real life I said goodbye to her a long time ago, I didn’t end with that, which I should have. I agree that she should have been eliminated. I only agree because of the lip syncing performance, which was awful. With that said, fans voted her in because of her sense of humor. I am glad she got the exposure from the show and I am sure Penny Tration will continue to be popular.

Okay! So here we go! Personalities are starting to come out, friendships are being formed, dirt is being thrown, people are freaking out…the race is on and I am loving every second of it!

I knew Alaska and Detox would hit it off and it makes sense since Roxxxy is friends with Detox, that they would all align. This may be the best threesome I have ever seen. The other Queens need to watch out.

The four lip syncing Rupaul heads was both frightening and funny. I noticed that Ivy Winters did well with that. Her boyfriend must be happy. As far as the challenge goes, I don’t understand why the Queens took such issue with Lineysha. I know a lot of gay men who have uncontrallable bobbing head syndrome. Her Tyra impression was spot on, I thought it was Tyra, which is why I almost turned off the tv.

HELLO CoCo Montrese!!! Thank you for taking my advice and removing your blue contacts. You pulled it out, girl. That was an unbelievable impersonation. You are officially a contender, in my book. Detox and Alaska were hilarious, as usual. They may not have been as accurate as others, but this is Drag Race, so making Ru laugh was more than enough. Them making out in the end as Sharon and Phi Phi was ingenious and of course kind of hot. I am also finding a soft spot for Jinkx. I like her quirkiness and her sympathy. I hope she sticks around.

Before I get to the two main Queens featured in this episode (Monica and Serena), I have to point something out to Kristen Johnson: when a chick from NJ engages you, then turns and looks at her nails, she no longer cares that you exist. Michelle Visage is originally from NJ, as am I and I can read her like a steamy novel, if I’m not distracted by her boobs or cleaning my partner’s drool. Kristen won’t be on the judges panel again, I guarantee you that. She didn’t really know what she was talking about, which Michelle tried to point out, but she kept talking, so Michelle turned her chair, looked at her nails and stuffed Juliette Lewis into her enormous chest. Then her supple white skin began to…

I was extremely proud of Miss Monica Beverly Hillz for coming out as transgender. In my opinion. this is by far the bravest thing to happen yet on the show. Showing the world that you need to be who you are, no matter the cost and no matter the ridicule, is heroic. The Queens came through on this, with most of them crying and telling her how proud they were of her and that she could enter the work room as a woman It was a “happy tears” moment. This is what makes this show stand out from others. It’s not the Drag, it’s the heart behind it all. It’s beautiful. I was actually surprised that Rupaul kept her, to be honest. I wasn’t surprised because I don’t think she deserves it or has the ability. If she is transgender, than she is female, end of story. There is a huge difference between Drag Queens and trans women and a lot of people don’t understand that. I think it would be more honorable to embrace her as a woman to the fullest, which would mean she is not a Drag Queen and therefore cannot compete. Although I could be convinced otherwise, because I want to watch her compete with her secret out, and Rupaul made the decision which means it was the right thing to do. Regardless, we love you Monica. You are a hero.

As far as our eliminated contestant, Serena, yes she deserved to be eliminated. But I have to say, I thought the untucked scenes where everyone was laughing and yelling at her was distasteful and hard to watch. It is obvious that a lot of it was cut to look a certain way and yes, Serena made comments that were rude, offensive and simply stupid (even though she went to college and can read). But…meh…I don’t like when people gang up on one person no matter how much of an ass they are. With that said, read my post from last week, I called this shit.

Luckily, we won’t have to witness that again, because her ass was eliminated. Jade Jolie and Alyssa Edwards may be enough to give us some more drama, but nothing that harsh. We shall see…

Before I begin my column on episode 1 of season 5, I’d like to preface with a few important points: I am a lesbian. I do not go to drag shows or get involved with the world of drag outside of my living room (and on Thanksgiving). I also should note that going into this season, I already have a favorite. Detox and I go way back. And by that I mean she followed me on twitter when Chow Down came out and I engaged in a discussion with her and Vicky Vox. Also, I am a narcaleptic Jew. And lastly, I have a cross-eyed groundhog who has predicted the winner, but I won’t share her choice until later.

And so it begins! A new season of the best reality tv show since The Mole. It really pisses me off that this show wasn’t nominated for an Emmy. But it will be.  As I break down my opinion of the fabulous first episode, keep in mind that I have nothing but respect for every drag queen on this show. Ru Paul is a genius and she chose them for a reason. Now, let’s throw out some T…

It is hard to assess much after only watching one episode, but some things were glaringly obvious. I will start off with something nice, because eventually I will start tearing someone apart (just a little). I think this season, every Queen is at the very least pretty, if not beautiful. That definitely does not include their outfits or how they look untucked.

Every season, if you watch carefully, you will notice that all of the Queens find one person or a group and stick by them, until they sashay away because they look like an old sleeping bag on the runway. Its pretty obvious that going in, some Queens were going to take issue with Alaska. Alaska is nothing like Sharon Needles. If I had to compare her to someone, I would say she is a little bit more like Pandora Boxx, but she is more unique and can make a sick dress.  I love Sharon and all, but I think as far as drag goes, Alaska is way more interested in the exposure, which is why they all come on the show. I think she will go far.

Detox was amazing as I expected. She’s funny and polished. She stuck up for Alaska after Alyssa Edwards said something about her dress. I’m a lesbian and even I knew that dress would be in the top three. It seems like they are stretching to find something to complain about.

Alyssa was “dethroned” from two pagents. I don’t know what drag pagents are all about. But you MUST have to do something seriously bad to get your crown taken away, like free-base on stage or insult Betty White.  I tried to find out what exactly she did, but the information seems to have disappeared from the internet, which means Ru Paul grabbed it and will reveal it when she chooses.

Serena kept talking about how she is twenty one, tried out once and made it. Wow, what an accomplishment. Ru Paul, Lady Bunny and Chad Michaels have so much less talent than her. What an idiot. Age is beauty in drag. I’m sick of all the Queens bragging about their ages. Willam has ten years on her and has ten times as many people attracted to her.  She’ll piss Detox off enough and she’ll slap her with that snap bracelet dress she made.

CoCo Montrese needs to not have blue contacts in.

Roxxxy Andrews is cute and seems to know her shit. Her dress was beautiful and I thought she deserved first place. I agreed with pretty much everything she said, except for her making fun of Jinkx.

With that said, #whatisupwithJinkx will be trending next week.

I liked Honey, Ivy, Lineysha (gorgeous), Monica, Penny and Vivienne. I think out of this group, Lineysha is the prettiest and Vivienne will go the farthest. Monica can easily do the ghetto thing and make it work, as long as she didn’t take notes from Jiggly Caliente.

So that’s everyone right? Oh, I almost forget Jade Jolie, the love child of Julianne Nicholson and Ginnifer Goodwin.  If you look at her hard enough, you see a cute lesbian. But you have to shut your ears. I like to make people laugh. When they laugh at nothing, it ruins my gift.

I don’t have much more to say.  I predict an Alaskan Detox Alliance. We shall see…

That’s right! It is here! Season V of Ru Paul’s Drag Race will usher us into the new year. And, in my opinion, it is the perfect way to do it. If you haven’t watched the show, I suggest you start now. Drag Race is a show that, like its makers, is beyond anything modern television has shown us.

Yes, the show itself follows a series of Drag Queens, until an elite panel of judges finally narrows them down to one. But when you watch the show, you will quickly notice that it encompasses so much more than that. While the show is premised on “illusions” it is by far the most beautiful and REAL testament of human beings at their finest. There are moments that bring us to tears, ones that make us laugh harder than conservative extremists gathering and watching videos of Dennis Kucinich, and unexpected moments that take our breath away. In past season’s, these moments have included such things as straight men coming in to dress in drag eventually finding themselves in awe of the gay men they are teamed with, the unsurpassable one-liners of the judges and of course moments like this:

(Apologies for the poor quality..I grabbed it off of youtube.com) Raven and JuJubee are best friends. They couldn’t bring themselves to compete against each other. And the judges saw that in that particular case, the beauty was in the love, not the performance.

I can go on and on. The Drag Queens on this show are the most talented artists I have ever seen. Once you watch it, you will learn something new, something beautiful that may change your perspective on a litany of things.

So with season V beginning, we will get to know a new group of love warriors and we will fall in love with them. I already have my favorite picked out. For a list of the Queens, visit http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls_drag_race/season_5/series.jhtml and click the profiles of the Queens. Trust me when I say this will be the best season yet.

Condragulations! I wish you all the best. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us, Ru. We will have to wait until January to find out. Now I really hope the Mayans were wrong.